In reflection of “BellTalk,” I think about the individuals who are either sitting at home or are working and interacting with other people on a daily basis. I can’t help but feel that there’s more to this whole mental health movement that many individuals are not addressing or just completely oblivious to because everyone is busy and doesn’t understand the silence surrounding mental illness.

Here’s the thing. From my own personal experience, I went through an unbelievable amount of mental, verbal, emotional, and racial abuse at the hands of individuals whom I fully trusted and looked up to. It was a mind-bender of an ordeal especially since I was in an environment of higher learning and the intimidation tactics that were deployed were directed specifically to me without the awareness of my peers. The PTSD that followed was not a pretty experience either. Of course, I’ve also gone through emotional triggers on various occasions as a result of this horrible experience. So, trust me when I say that sometimes it takes a lot to release yourself from the damage that broken people cause, but the emotional freedom is well worth the long journey to recovery.

On a side note, can you imagine the spiritual poison that is actually dispersed from these negative, sick individuals and how it affects their mentality and actions to deliberately hurt others? I cannot comprehend the kind of Karma that’s waiting for people who do this without remorse or regret. I have never wished anyone bad, but when speaking to others about their unpleasant experiences, I’ve learned that for every action, there is an equal reaction that is waiting to be unleashed to those who least expect it. That’s why everyone should strive to live a life of integrity. Make your wrongs right as soon as possible and seek forgiveness from those you have hurt, intentionally or otherwise. This is the way to a peaceful lifestyle that attracts higher vibrational blessings to effortlessly come your way.

My counsellor at that time had an interesting perspective that was not in alignment with my personal values. The confusion this brought about how to proceed without the influence of these bad experiences took a lot of inner healing and forgiveness on my part.

Yes, I did file a Human Rights lawsuit. YES, I did win, but here’s the kicker: I could not gain any monetary compensation for the days, nights, months, and years of abuse because of a “clause” that prevented me from disclosing any details of my case or of the financial settlement if I accepted the compensation for the damages. No amount of money could ever cover the toll it took on my immediate family and myself. I thankfully survived the multiple times I contemplated suicide and the thoughts of ending it all by driving off any number of rocky ridges along the highway. I was driving literally without any sleep for days at a time due to the seemingly unending emotional and mental strain brought on by my abusers. Life became so stressful that I ended up either carpooling or paying to commute to my destination because I didn’t trust myself any longer, and the mental exhaustion of rewriting research papers for my portfolio was never-ending. This did not stop until it was discovered by one of my peers who was able to identify what I was living through for what it was: pure…living…hell. On the positive side, my rewritten research papers were nearly perfect, better than ever, and prepared me for my secondary career as an author and the Publisher of my own publishing company today. If you could have seen the comparison of my papers to my peers’ submissions, you would be just as confused at the unfair grading and blatant discrimination right there in bright red ink. It’s just amazing when I look back at the ordeal that I endured, and where I am today.

If you’re feeling burdened by something you’re not sure of that involves the way someone is treating you, please talk to someone else about it right away. Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t be afraid of what anyone else is thinking. Don’t discourage yourself from getting the attention and support you need. I had another separate experience where a student approached me to share her abusive situation and I didn’t know what to say to her. So, I directed her to the guidance office immediately. I only trust that she received the support she needed. 

“You just need to be fearless and own your life once again.”

Maybe, you’ve reached out already to someone you trusted, only to be discouraged or felt like you were too much. Don’t let it go. Speak up and ask others if they’ve experienced similar feelings. We live in a world with so many hurting people. Not everyone talks about their “stuff” because they feel they’ve overcome it, but yet it shows up through their emotional triggers. Healing from past trauma is deep stuff and you need to get to the emotional roots. That’s where the real healing takes place. Remember, you are worth it no matter what anyone else thinks. That’s just their demons talking anyways. If they can’t see your pain, you don’t need that hurtful drama any longer. #Breathe. #Release. #Heal.

I want to say that you’re not alone in what you’re going through right now. You just need to be fearless and own your life once again. Once you connect to the right people who are ready to help, that’s where the magic happens, and you begin to solve the mystery of mental manipulation.

For those of you who have been blessed to never go through such horrible experiences as some of the people you’re connected with, take a moment and recognize how important people are in your life. We all need each other. You may have an offence against someone today but what would happen if they were the only one who could save your life? Everything changes when we look at our own mortality from a different perspective. Give it a try. Being a Registered Nurse has given me more insight into human psychology than my textbooks ever did.

I encourage you to start forgiving more with the intention to release all negative attachments. That stagnant energy is dangerously unhealthy. If you talk about love and empowerment, remember that it does not make a difference unless you’re living it towards “everyone.” If you’re going to church regularly, it does not make you a beautiful person, no matter how “fly” your outfit is. Living as Christ did – does. Observe people closely because they’re observing you.

I’ve noticed that when we start being super selective with who we feel is “our tribe,” we’re missing the whole point of things like BellTalk. You are only helping to create segregation all over again. This is a HUGE problem. Let’s not make the same mistakes and repeat history through different shoes. Just consider being love by being in love with life and all living things. Your well-being will dramatically improve, and you’ll start attracting so much more joy and healing in your life.

Today, I can honestly say I never knew that finding peace could be so priceless and life-changing. I didn’t receive any compensation following my Human Rights case because I chose…me. Interestingly enough, at that time I never knew that my voice mattered so much. I never understood that one day I would be making such a huge impact in so many lives around the world as an internationally published author in so many gorgeous books. Someone tried to steal my destiny, but they only empowered me even more. I’m not just a highly-skilled Registered Nurse, but I’m also a Certified Professional Coach and successful indie Publisher, a mom of two incredible boys, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. Had I only looked at the money settlement through eyes of desperation, it may have shut down my creative voice and greatest potential. Plus, I would never have grown up to become the beautiful, successful, happy, healthy, and satisfied person that I am today. I am #Priceless and I am Abundantly #Blessed.

Thank you for reading my message. You are only who you choose to be. God is always close to the broken-hearted and only a whisper away. You are in my prayers.

I wish you Joy, Love and Peace always.